


Vexed

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Cheese, Crack, Fluff, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Subtle ChanBaek, this is so cheesy im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11936427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Kyungsoo receives a blast from his past, and a glimpse at his future.





	Vexed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [parkourdeer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkourdeer/gifts).



> Ah, this is my first fic exchange, I’m a little nervous >.<  
> It took me awhile to get rolling with this because I wasn’t really expecting the prompt, but overall I’m kind of satisfied with it, even though I think the ending is a little rushed. Special thanks to the mods, particularly Mod L for being so helpful and lenient and kind with me, and for all the hard work you guys put towards these fests!

_One._

_Two,_ he counts silently, eyes squeezed shut. If he could just keep quiet for a _little_ longer-

_Three._

_Four_.

_Five-_

“Hey. Kyungsoo.”

Brown eyes slightly covered by a messy fringe peer at him around the white cubicle dividers. The man silently screams in frustration, cursing all the gods in the sky as he wonders whether his current state of life was a punishment for his actions in a previous life. After composing himself, he turns to look at him, eyebrows raised and agitation written plainly across his features.

“ _What is it, Byun_?” He whispers harshly, his words cutting sharply through the air as frustration glints in his eyes. “Can't you shut up for five seconds? At this rate, we’ll both be stuck in these goddamn cubicles till after hours.”

As much as Byun Baekhyun irritated the shit out of him, out of all the people Kyungsoo had encountered in his measly twenty seven years of life he was the only person he would even consider a close friend. Their ‘partnership’ went as far back as kindergarten, when the older man had suddenly dumped a pile of dirt down Kyungsoo’s shirt, claiming that it was for good luck and that ‘it’d protect him from the big bad bullies’. If Kyungsoo had half the mind he had now he would’ve beat Baekhyun’s face in until he went cross-eyed, but of course their teacher was supervising them so he just sat there, worms wiggling under his shirt as he glared at Baekhyun’s toothy grin.

And the rest was pretty much history.

Twenty some odd years later here they are. After rooming together for years, they graduated college together, landing the same shitty 9-5 job for the same shitty company, and not much has changed, really.

“Calm down,” Baekhyun shoots back easily, legs swinging in his chair as he rolls himself around the barrier, situating himself to the right of his friend. He raises his arms in mock self-defense, eyes quirking mischievously as he grins.

Kyungsoo groans.

The last time Baekhyun had that look on his face, he ended up stranded halfway across Korea in the middle of nowhere. He had half the mind to just ignore the idiot and continue typing up the final tax reports and hightail it out of the building, but he knew that Baekhyun’s antics were probably the only thing keeping him sane.

“As I was _saying_ before you so rudely interrupted me,” he continues, completely ignoring Kyungsoo’s break in thought, “I was wondering if you wanted to go to the bar tonight? Hit the counter? Drink all our sorrows away as we wonder where we fucked up in life?”

Kyungsoo frowns, somewhat offended. His life isn’t _that_ bad. He has a decent job, makes good money, has loving parents, an annoying best friend, had the occasional lay at the club, and in all honesty that’s good enough for him. Asking for anything else would just be getting himself into trouble.

He sighs, conceding to the request. “I suppose I can, although I guess I’ll have to cancel my other plans.”

Another head full of black messy hair pops around the opposite side of his cubicle, dark eyes peering at him. “Do Kyungsoo, you don’t _have_ other plans. The only plans you have are daily dates with your left hand and Kim Kai’s featured page on that website you love so much.”

Baekhyun nods. “Chanyeol’s right.”

Kyungsoo sputters, embarrassment shining a bright red across his face. “I’m not even going to question how you even knew that.”

It’s no secret amongst their friend group that Kyungsoo has had an acute obsession with Kim Kai, one of Korea’s most infamous adult actors. He entered the business fresh out of secondary school, and since the age of 20 he’s been the biggest hit.

Much to Kyungsoo’s dismay, however, he practically disappeared off the face of the planet three or four years ago. His videos still remain up, of course (there are far too many circulating to get rid of them all to begin with), but as far as Kyungsoo’s aware, his career’s over. Tragic.

Now that he thinks about it, he’s probably spent more time alone in his bedroom wanking to the thought of having that glorious, supple body underneath him than he’s spent beating Baekhyun’s ass for irritating him, and he does enough of that daily to begin with..

“I know everything about you, silly,” the other chides, shaking his head sorrowfully at the other. “Also you don’t bother to exit your internet tabs or clear your history. Anyways, if the clock is any indicator we have approximately two seconds before Mr. Lee  barges in here and yells at us to-”

“Do! Park! Byun!”

The trio wince.

“Shut up and get back to work!”

* * *

 

After getting his ass scolded by their department head and clocking out of that hellhole, Kyungsoo finds himself, with his two idiotic co-workers, inside the Hidden Cellar, an underground club that the trio often visit on their days off.

The bar was owned by one of Kyungsoo’s father’s friends; luckily enough, the man never bothered to mention Kyungsoo’s frequent stops to the bar with his friends to his friend. Kyungsoo isn't sure how he’d be able to get his father off his back if he ever confronted him about his questionable nighttime habits. His father isn’t disapproving of his lifestyle by any means, but Kyungsoo’s sure that any sane parent would raise some eyebrows if their children were making weekly bar visits.

Shaking his regretful thoughts aside, Kyungsoo makes his way through the seemingly endless waves of bodies to get to the counter. He doesn’t bother to check if Baekhyun and Chanyeol were at his heels; the pair usually go off to a dark corner of the room, leaving little to imagination. Kyungsoo knows he’s oblivious to many things, but even he knew that they were head over heels for each other.

“Oh, Kyungsoo!” A voice calls to him from ahead. From where he was standing, he sees Minhyuk beckoning him over with the wave of a hand. “Same drink as always?”

“You know me well enough,” Kyungsoo says, sliding smoothly onto a stool. “I hate change.” He taps his fingers on the wooden countertop lightly, eyes focusing in on the monotonous swish and swirl of the liquor as it filled the small glass, bubbling slightly over the cuts of ice.

“Of course I know,” the other chuckles, relaxing as he leans against the back wall, eyes scanning Kyungsoo’s face carefully. “Hard day at work?”

“Just the usual,” Kyungsoo sighs, face contorting into a grimace as he remembers his blunder at the office, Mr. Kim’s shrill voice echoing in his skull. “Nothing special, I suppose.”

Minhyuk nods, understanding shining clear as day in his eyes. “Well,” he leans in, eyes levelled with Kyungsoo’s, his gaze probing the dark brown depths. After a couple of awkward seconds, he leans back, chuckling slightly.

“Well,” he repeats again, “today’s your lucky day.”

Kyungsoo’s brows furrow in confusion. “What-”

“This is my usual seat,” a voice behind him seethes, interrupting Kyungsoo’s earlier speech. “Please move.”

 _What the fuck_ -

Minhyuk grins and turns around, busying himself with the shelf behind him as he rearranges the empty bottles into the trashcan in front of him.

Kyungsoo sits there in some state of shock, the words not yet registering in his head. After a couple of seconds. the man behind him (or at least he _thinks_ it’s a man, he can't tell) opens his mouth again.

“Are you deaf or do you just like ignoring people?” he spits out. Irritated, Kyungsoo turns around, ready to give this man a piece of his goddamn mind until he fully turns around, and his eyes land on the man behind him.

All sense of coherency he had flies straight out the window. Somewhere in the dark depths of his mind he realizes that he must look like an old pervert openly gazing at the man, mouth slightly open in shock, but he’s too far gone to even bother fixing his face.

* * *

 

“ _Hello_?”

_“Kyungsoo-yah!” his mother calls, her voice echoing in the hallway as she comes closer to the end of the hall. g_

_The sixteen year old eyes widen in realization, the video playing on his laptop forgotten as he tries to cover himself up, not wanting his mother to walk in on him with his junk hanging out and pants pooled around his ankles. There’d be no way out of explaining that one, and the last thing Kyungsoo needs currently is getting blue-balled as his mother lectures him as to why watching porn is self-destructing and disrespectful._

_The door opens, and Kyungsoo's mother pops her head in, peering into the room to see her son propped up against the headboard with a blanket strewn halfway across his lap. His eyes seem wild and somewhat disoriented, dark brown hair ruffled and messy. His mother raises an eyebrow._

_“Are you not feeling well?” She asks in confusion, opening the door wider as she sets the laundry basket down, moving closer towards the boy._

_“No!” He helps, slamming his laptop cover shut as he yanks the blanket over himself, mild panic settling in. “I’m fine,” he says unconvincingly, voice trembling. “Honestly.”_

_She raises an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. Kyungsoo curses silently in his head. He knew he should’ve locked the goddamn door._

_“I’m_ fine, _mom,” he presses, beginning to get a little antsy as more time passed. The more his mother talked the more Kyungsoo felt his dick soften; having a hard on in the presence of one’s own mother must be a sin._

_But Kyungsoo wouldn't know anything about that._

_“Alright, honey,” she relents, probably deciding not to push the issue any further. She glances at him once more, and opens her mouth to speak. “You do know that if anything’s wrong, you can always-”_

_“Yes, yes, mom, I know!” He hopelessly cries out, voice cracking in desperation. If he wasn’t half out of his mind trying to jerk off he would’ve at least been a_ little _embarrassed, but that was the last thing on his mind._

_After one final look she takes mercy on him, leaving the laundry basket full of folded clothes to the right of the door. She closes the door behind her silently, and as soon as Kyungsoo can’t hear her footsteps echoing down the hallway, he yanks the blanket off and snatches the laptop, opening the cover and placing it on his thighs. After a couple seconds of a blank screen, the laptop reloads, and the video Kyungsoo was previously watching (before his mother so rudely interrupted him) reappears on the screen. His breath turns shaky, heart rate speeding up at the man sprawled lewdly on the screen._

_Kyungsoo had discovered Kim Kai a couple of months back; after overhearing some teammates talking in the locker rooms after practice, Kyungsoo decided to see if the man was worth all the hype his friends were glorifying him with._

_And, to his surprise, he was. So much to the fact that Kyungsoo really couldn’t get off to any other actor’s videos. He had tried, numerous times in fact, but the mixture of moans and the visual image just didn’t_ do _it for him._

_So, here he was, again for the possibly third time today. What could he say? He was a teenage boy, after all; he had his own needs to attend to._

_It was almost always the same video. He’d seen it so many times he could probably jerk off in his sleep to it._

_The camera focused in on Kim Kai, hands on his knees as he situated himself on the carpeted floor. Dark midnight bangs fell across his tan face, hair wild due to the pale long fingers carding through it. His watering eyes, dark and sultry, stared intensely at the man hovering over him who held a firm grip on the other’s jaw. The man was tall and lanky with bleached blonde hair, built with a strong jaw and angular face. His thumb caressed Kai’s cheeks, brushing tears from his eyes as he slowly rolled his hips into his mouth, whispering words of praise to the other._

_“Look at you,” the other man croons softly, admiration dripping from his words, “taking all of me so well. You're such a good boy for me, aren't you?”_

_Kai’s eyes darken at his words, eyes fluttering as a strangled moan seeps from his mouth. Kyungsoo’s breath hitches, eyes glued to the screen as his hand snakes down to grip his erection, straining through his sheets. He hisses at the contact, biting his lip as he strokes languidly, keeping in time with the slow roll of the man’s hips into Kai’s awaiting mouth._

_His pace quickens as his eyes zero in on the man’s wanton face; his dark hair strewn carelessly across his forehead damp with sweat, his dark glistening orbs alight with lust. The image never tired Kyungsoo, no matter how many times he’d seen the video (he’s pretty sure it's at least the hundredth time); he still gets off to it like an eleven year old discovering softcore porn for the first time._

_The other man on the screen groans, his breath harshly cutting through the air as he withdraws himself from Kai’s mouth, stroking his member with quick flicks of the wrist. It all ends too soon for Kyungsoo’s liking, the man reaching his completion with a choked groan, ribbons of pearly white splattered across Kai’s cheekbones and nose, some drops gluing themselves to his midnight lashes. The camera zooms in on his face, giving the viewer a closer look of Kai’s facial features, and the sultry grin that was sprawled across his face._

_Unfortunately for Kyungsoo, the clip ends after another minute, but it's more than enough time for him to release with a low whine, thrusting into his fist slowly to prolong his orgasm._

_After a couple of minutes of basking in the brief afterglow, he plops back against his bedsheets, the stringy mess in his hand long forgotten. Not even bothering to pull his boxers back up, he rolls over and buries his face into his pillow._

_His phone buzzes again for the nth time, having ignored it for some time. Groaning, he reaches across his bed stand, knocking over other items as he grabs it and unlocks it, checking the notification screen._

**_(5 new messages from ‘Byun’)_ **

**_1:04 PM: hey dumbass_ **

**_chan wants to go out, says there's this new puppy exhibit at the zoo or some shit like that,,, you up for it?_ **

**_1:30 PM: nah actually i lied there's some new place in town or something i think i heard him wrong over the phone_ **

**_2:52 PM: dude wya ??_ **

**_3:03 PM: date w/your hand again? -_-_ **

_Kyungsoo shuts his phone off._

_“Do I really make it that obvious?” He grumbles to himself, flipping over on his side as he stares at the blank screen._

_“Make what obvious?” His mother pops back through the door, glancing at him curiously. “Why are you talking to yourself again?”_

_“Please leave.”_

I never get any privacy in this house, _he thinks tiredly,_ how long will I live like this?

_“Oh! Your friends are at the door,” his mother calls, her footsteps echoing down the hall._

_Quickly wiping his hand on his bedsheets, he jumps back into his jeans, barely buttoning his shirt as he takes the stairs 3 at a time. He pauses in the main hallway only to see Baekhyun and Chanyeol staring right back at him, the former’s face full of amusement._

_“Kyungsoo, your pants are backwards, really?” he chortles, eyes crinkling, “was Kim Kai that good?”_

_Kyungsoo shuts the door in their face._

* * *

 

The memory of that day almost a decade ago is enough to bring a slight fluster to Kyungsoo’s face. To him, sometimes it feels as if time didn't pass.

The man before him still looks the same as he did years ago, with his midnight black hair, cute button nose, dark brown eyes (currently filled with some mixture of confusion and irritation), and smooth tanned skin that glows slightly in the bar’s shitty lighting. With his simple blue button up and a pair of tight fitting jeans, if Kyungsoo didn't know any better he would just assume that the other man was just another passerby.

Not wanting to prolong the awkwardness, Kyungsoo stumbles out of his seat, scratching the back of his head.

“Uh,” he offers lamely, stretching his hand out ass form of greeting, “sorry?”

The man offers no sign of having heard Kyungsoo’s words, simply opting to slap his hand away, push his way past him and twirl the bar chair around, planting himself down facing the drink cabinet behind the counter. If it were any other person Kyungsoo would've had half the mind to be offended, but he decides to let it slide.

_Just this once._

“Are you Kim Kai?” he blurts shamelessly, curiosity getting the better of him as he continues to observe the man’s backside, silently cursing himself in every language he knows.

 _Idiot,_ he can almost hear Baekhyun muttering at him, _you can't just basically ask someone if they do porn._

The man glances at him out of the corner of his eye, giving him a quick overlook before scoffing, turning back away. At this point Kyungsoo is almost offended. He didn't look _that_ bad. He sniffs the sleeve of his shirt. He even made sure he put on a little cologne before he left.

“Who’s asking?” the man finally responds, turning his stool back around to look at him, an odd glint appearing in his eye. “Do you work for the paparazzi? The newspapers, perhaps? They never left me alone, seems like they finally caught up to me-”

“As interesting as that would be,” Kyungsoo cuts him off before he could ramble, not noticing the quick scrunch of the man’s nose, “no.”

“I guess I’m what you would call,” he pauses, “a casual fan? Well, I mean in the past anyway.” He shrugs unabashedly, trying to play it off as nothing, but the other isn't fooled.

_Casual fan, my ass._

“Really?” he snorts, shaking his hair, “I doubt someone who was a casual fan in their teen years would remember me a decade later. I haven't been on the news or featured anywhere in _years_. Most people have forgotten about me by now.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Okay, maybe that part was a lie,” Kyungsoo mutters, embarrassed that he could see through him so quickly.

“But yes, to answer your earlier question, I am Kim Kai. Didn't think today was the day someone finally recognized me.” He turned around, slumping in his chair as his forehead hits the counter, a loud exaggerated sigh passing from his lips.

“My cover’s been blown,” he whines, hands rubbing his face.

Kyungsoo sits down next to him, unsure as to whether or not he should try to offer some sort of solace to the man. He shifts closer, opting to pat the man’s back a couple times as reassurance, but his efforts are wasted as Kai glares at him.

“Don't sit so close to me,” he says, frowning, “and don't touch me. I don't even know you, God knows what diseases you have.” He turns back to the counter. “Can I get a drink?”

Kyungsoo’s eye twitched.

* * *

 

Out of all ways Kyungsoo imagined spending his evening, this was _not_ one of them.

Kyungsoo currently finds himself crouching down near the toilet, holding Kai’s hair back as he empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. He’s surprised to find out that the other man couldn't hold his liquor as well as he thought. After just a couple glasses, the man was an incoherent mess, barely being able to stand on his two feet without support.

And, as it turns out, that tough shell of his also crumbled to pieces under alcohol's influence.

“Why’d you even quit in the first place?” Kyungsoo mumbles, then grimaces as a spray of vomit hits his shirt, staining it.

“If you were in the business, you’d understand,” Kai moans, slumping against the other side of the stall as he cradles his head in his hands, “your ass can only handle so much. I don’t even think I can shit properly anymore.”

Kyungsoo winces at that. He definitely didn’t need that mental imagine in his life.

“Do you need a place to stay or something? I doubt you could even walk out of this bathroom by yourself in this state,” he offers, staring at the other man.

Kai stares back, face contorted in confusion. “Excuse you, I think I’m perfectly sober enough to get home on my own. God knows what you’d to do me on the way there-”

“Are you like this to _everyone_ you talk to?” Kyungsoo half-shouts, almost throwing his hands up in the air as his frustration gets the better of him.

“Not really, just you. You’re funny,” he chuckles, then gasps as he leans over the toilet bowl again, heaving violently.

This was not going according to his dreams. He’s thought of this scenario countless times. He would run into the actor, and would charm him with his suave personality and quick wit, and the rest would be history.

What he did not expect was for Kim Kai to be obnoxiously jaded and conceited, swatting down Kyungsoo’s fantasies with a swipe of his hand. He did not expect to run into him in this rundown bar of all places, and he most certainly did _not_ expect to be holding the man’s hair back as he vomited in an unsanitary public bathroom.

He sighs. Luck never seemed to be on his side anyway.

“Yep, you’re coming home with me,” he mutters, watching as the other man tried to recollect himself pathetically, as to not seem weak in front of Kyungsoo. After Kai wipes his mouth on the collar of his shirt, Kyungsoo tugs on his arm, gradually bringing Kai to his feet, and opens the door of the stall-

Only to be met with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

_Fuckfuck-_

“Wow, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun grins at him, looking as if he’s trying to hold in his laughter, “After almost 10 years your dream finally comes true!”

“Baekhyun, it’s not what it looks like-”

“No, it’s definitely what it looks like! He saw one glimpse of you and threw up all over the place, just like I did in second grade.”

Kai, in his state of incoherency, manages to turn to him, wrinkling his nose and raising an eyebrow. “You know these idiots?”

Kyungsoo just stares, defeated. “Unfortunately.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? Kyungsoo _loves_ us, but not as much as he loves you!”

Kyungsoo _really_ hates Baekhyun.

Instead of pulling some smart-ass remark from his ass to save his rapidly crumbling image, he opts to pull Kai right past them, ignoring Chanyeol’s quiet snicker and his pat on the back. Kai stumbles behind him, and Kyungsoo attempts to steady him by wrapping an arm around his waist.

At first it's fine; Kai doesn't make any move to forcibly remove his arm or slap it away, and kyungsoo is almost relieved, glad that he seems to be making some progress with the other man. But before he knows it, his foot ends up squashed underneath Kai’s.

“Ow!” Kyungsoo yelps, dropping the hold he has around the other man in favor of clutching his precious foot. “For a drunk man you seem to _really_ remember how much you dislike me.”

“I don't dislike you,” the other man slurs, chortling as Kyungsoo stubs his toe on a barstool on his way out, “there's just something about you that bothers me. No one’s ever been so upfront with me before.”

“Welcome to the real world,” Kyungsoo deadpans, holding the door open as he half-drags the man out the door. He hopes he doesn't look too suspicious tugging a half conscious man out the door and into the car; the last thing he needs to end this disastrously eventful day is a talk with the police.

After buckling Kai into the passenger seat, ensuring he doesn't go flying or do something else unpredictable during the short ride home, he quickly crosses around the car and slides into the driver’s seat.

The ride was short and uneventful, thankfully, although it was a little awkward; the radio was hardly loud enough and Kai surprisingly kept all his smart and snidely remarks to himself.

“Out you go,” Kyungsoo mutters to himself, opening the car door as he removes the other man from the seat, helping him out of the car and into the apartment complex. He feels a droplet of water hit his cheek, and frowns.

_Is it raining?_

He looks up at the sky to confirm his thoughts, but the night sky was perfectly clear, with not a cloud in sight. He glances to his right, and, to his horror, he notices a trail of drool escaping from Kai’s mouth.

“So not only are you knocked unconscious and drunk off your ass, but you decided to top that all off by _drooling_ on me. Wonderful.”

Kyungsoo officially decides this day couldn't get any worse.

He helps the man up the stairs, albeit a little less careful. At this point, he couldn't care less if Kai accidentally slipped from his grasp and tumbled down a flight of stairs.

As he fumbles with his keys in his pocket, he vaguely wonders in the corner of his mind what Baekhyun and Chanyeol are up to. Hopefully the duo didn't get lost and find themselves halfway across Korea in only their underwear in the morning.

After inserting the key into the lock, he swings the door open, hauling Kai’s deadweight behind him as he heads towards the sofa in the living room. Unceremoniously, he relieves his hold and drops the man on the sofa. Despite the harsh treatment Kai was still out cold, sleeping like a rock.

“You’re sleeping here,” Kyungsoo says, and at this point, he doesn't even know if he's talking to himself or the unconscious man in front of him. “Goodnight, Kai.”

He’s almost halfway to his room when he hears a faint groan come from the sofa. Surprised, he turns to see a limb dangling over the arm of the sofa.

“My name’s Jongin,” he mumbles. Kyungsoo hears some rustling and assumes that the man is turning over on the couch, trying to become comfortable. “No more Kai.”

Kyungsoo cracks a small smile at that.

Kyungsoo fell asleep with a smile on his face only to wake up with a grimace.

The first thing that penetrates his eardrums is a loud shriek, followed by a loud crash, presumably coming from the kitchen. Kyungsoo hopes it wasn't his new knife set; he just bought it last week.

Groaning, he rolls himself out of bed, muttering something along the lines of _stupid porn stars and their stupid pretty faces_. He slips on his Pororo slippers (a Christmas gift from Baekhyun a couple years ago), and doesn't even bother to toss a shirt on as he walks out of the room.

He's greeted with the sight of Kai (or _Jongin,_ as he recalls the man saying the night before) sitting criss-crossed in the middle of his kitchen, his hands clutching his head as he leans forward, his fringe falling into his eyes. Kyungsoo glances at the clock.

“Care to tell me why you're making a ruckus at 10 in the morning?”

The other man doesn't even bother to look at him. “How about you tell me why the fuck _I’m_ in _your_ kitchen?” He looks up at him, eyes bloodshot, and Kyungsoo just stares back.

Suddenly, something seems to click in the other man’s head. “Oh _no_ ,” he moans, head falling back into his hands, “We didn't fuck, did we?”

As much as Kyungsoo would love to say yes and give the man a heart attack, he feels oh so _full_ with compassion this sunny morning, so he decides to be kind for once.

“No,” Kyungsoo says finally, after a minute of debating within his head. “The only reason you're here is because you decided to drink 10 glasses of liquor when you probably know darn well that you can't hold your liquor at all.”

“That's not true!” Jongin cries indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. It reminded Kyungsoo of a younger child; it was almost endearing, in an odd way.

“Trust me, Kim Jongin,” Kyungsoo says, padding away to the kitchen to start cooking some breakfast. “I’m a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them.” He grabs his favorite apron off the hook, decorated with penguins, and ties it around his waist.

He twirls back around, shaking a box of pancake mix he snatched out of the cupboard as he stared at the other.

“Pancakes?” Kyungsoo offers.

Jongin wrinkled his nose. “What kind of man wears an apron?”

Kyungsoo ignores the insult and decides to make an extra batch, pouring double the standard amount of mix into the bowl. He quickly grabs a tray of eggs from the fridge, setting them down near the oven as he swiftly butters a pan and places it down on the heat.

“A man that doesn't give a fuck about what some idiot thinks about it, me being that man, and _you_ ,” Kyungsoo points the spatula at Jongin, wiggling it in his face, “being the idiot.” He cracks an egg, dropping the yolk into the bowl and tossing the shell away.

Jongin leans against the counter, eyes shining with amusement. “You know, for someone who’s had a long lasting infatuation with me you're not being very nice.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “What were you expecting, me to fall on my knees and serenade you into riding off into the sunset with me forever?”

“Possibly?”

“Well, life is full of surprises. Learn to expect the unexpected,” he bites back, pouring out the pancake mix into the pan.

It was quiet for the next couple of moments, Jongin surprisingly keeping his mouth shut and opting to watch Kyungsoo finish the rest of the pancakes. He whizzes around the kitchen, tossing together a breakfast fit for royalty in the matter of minutes. Kyungsoo grabs utensils from the drawer to his left, and tosses them onto the table, next to each plate.

He taps the platter.

“Help yourself,” he beams, almost smirking when he sees Jongin begrudgingly stalk towards the table, snatching the plate out of Kyungsoo’s hands almost ferociously.

He plops himself down in the chair across from Kyungsoo’s, and immediately he digs in, slicing his pancakes into pieces and seasoning his eggs with salt and pepper. He hesitantly scoops up a handful of eggs, sniffing it and glancing at Kyungsoo’s face quickly. Deeming it edible, he eats it, chewing thoughtfully.

‘It’s good, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo smiles as Jongin quickly shakes his head.

“No,” he mumbles.

“Your almost clean plate says otherwise.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

 

By some odd stroke of luck, it turns out that Jongin lives right down the hall from Kyungsoo. He’s confused as to how the heck he’s never seen the man during all the countless errands he’s had to run, until he’s told that he just moved there recently.

“I wanted to start over somewhere,” Jongin had said, frowning, “Too many people caught up to me where I used to live, but here seems decent enough.”

Jongin left Kyungsoo’s apartment a couple of days ago, telling the latter that he didn’t want to spend too much time around him, claiming that “he didn’t know him and didn’t want to ‘catch’ some unknown disease from someone he didn’t know.” Since then, Kyungsoo’s seen no sight of him. He has no clue as to why Jongin thinks Kyungsoo has something; for all Kyungsoo knows, the man must just be a germaphobe. But then again, he supposes, the man used to work in the adult film industry. His caution must only be normal.

He sighs forlornly, staring out the window. He’s not really sure what to think of the other man. Jongin is completely the opposite from what Kyungsoo expected, but that didn’t stop Kyungsoo’s heart from completing somersaults and having palpitations every time Jongin so much as breathes in front of him, and it definitely didn’t stop his stomach from flipping every single time the man laughed at a snide remark Kyungsoo made.

It definitely wasn't some temporary crush, and Kyungsoo isn't sure how he feels about that. The last thing he needs in his life is another romantic fling that’s doomed to crash and burn before it can even take off from the ground.

And even if it didn't, Jongin’s feelings and emotions are a whole new dimension that Kyungsoo doesn't think he has the ability to understand or deal with. Firstly, he doubts Jongin reciprocates his feelings, probably just passing Kyungsoo off as another fanboy with a celebrity crush. Convincing Jongin that he isn't just blinded by his youth memories is a whole other challenge.

Deep in the realm of thought, he doesn't even hear the doorbell ring. Kyungsoo gets up, and decides to kick himself out of his misery by watching a rerun of _Glee._ He walks into the living room, only to pause in confusion as he stares at the doorway.

Jongin stares right back at him, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “The door was unlocked, so I just let myself in?” He tries, only to stop at Kyungsoo’s baffled expression.

“The same way you walked into my life and fucked everything up,” Kyungsoo muttered in frustration, shaking his head tiredly.

“I heard that.”

“Good. You were supposed to.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “I already feel awkward enough, can't you just invite me in already?”

“You're already _inside_. What else do you want?”

He suddenly looks away from Kyungsoo, eyes avoiding the other man at all costs as he shuffles on his feet awkwardly. If Kyungsoo didn't know any better he’d say that Jongin suddenly looked...shy? He wonders what could possibly make the other’s personality flip in a matter of seconds.

“Could I, uh, crash here for a bit?”

Out of all things to say, Kyungsoo certainly wasn't expecting that one.

“Why on _earth_ would you want to stay with me of all people? Don't you not like me? And don't you even have your own place?”

Jongin shrugs. “I never said I didn't like you, I actually do in fact. Asides from the fact that you used to jerk off to me when you were younger, which already makes this awkward enough, you're pretty cool.”

“Cool,” Kyungsoo repeats, as if he didn't hear Jongin say it the first time. “I think all that alcohol did something to your head.”

“My head is perfectly fine, thank you.”

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo shoots back, already beginning to feel a migraine form in his head, “It’s not like I could say no.”

“You could, you're just choosing not to.”

“If you don't shut up in the next two seconds, I'm leaving you behind.”

Spending copious amounts of time with someone you're only used to seeing on your laptop screen in your bedroom with your pants pooled around your ankles is quite a unique experience, if Kyungsoo has anything to say about it.

Ever since Jongin had mysteriously asked if he could stay over at Kyungsoo’s place, it was almost as if the other man had a change of heart. He was more docile, receding himself to Kyungsoo’s authority with ease. He was even a good listener, not even batting an eye when Kyungsoo yells in anger and frustration.

And for that, Kyungsoo is grateful. Jongin is no Dr. Phil by any means, but on a good day he’s acceptable company.

“Kyungsoo,” he hears Jongin call, “I think I burned something.”

Kyungsoo hops up off the sofa, and pads into the kitchen. his nose picking up on the smell of burning macaroni.

He leans over, looking into the pot. At the bottom, he can see clear macaroni sticking to the pan, the edges badly burnt due to the water evaporating quickly. Kyungsoo turns the stove off before any more damage can be caused.

“Firstly, the fire is too high. Secondly, what the fuck are you trying to make?”

“Macaroni and cheese,” Jongin mumbled, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb.

Kyungsoo's eyes linger on the sight far longer than is appropriate before his eyes snap back to the unsalvageable mess in front of him.

“It's called mac _and_ cheese, not just mac. Where's the cheese?”

“I didn't know I had to put it in!”

“How on earth have you managed to stay alive these past years if you can't even cook basic food like this?” Kyungsoo’s almost ready to strangle the man, his patience quickly running thin.

He recalls a blimp of info he had read on Jongin’s info page a couple years ago. They claimed the man was intelligent, but to be totally honest Kyungsoo has not seen anything to prove that statement true, at least, in the realm of cooking; the man is as dumb as a rock.

“That's because I could afford to eat out everyday,” Jongin retorts, watching sadly as Kyungsoo dumps the lump of macaroni into the trash can. “Now I can barely afford a box of ramen.”

“Tragic,” Kyungsoo responds, restarting Jongin’s pathetic attempt at macaroni and cheese.

While he’s waiting for the food to come to a boil, he turns to study the other man.

He takes a good look at him. The man hasn't aged a day, still looking the same as he did in those videos a decade ago. Jongin still has the same midnight dark hair, feathery black lashes, dark brown orbs, and bronze skin that glows when the sunlight hits it just right.

He's confused. He knows that Jongin must be toying with him somehow; he doesn't understand why someone like him would waste their time on someone like him. Jongin is miles out of Kyungsoo’s league, and he’s pretty sure the both of them know that.

“What do you want from me?” He finally asks after a minute of silence, curiosity getting the better of him. “Why are you even bothering with someone like me?”

“Define ‘someone like you’,” Jongin says after a moment, turning his back to Kyungsoo as he looks out the window, eyes darting across the passing traffic below.

“Typical 9-5 cubicle worker at a firm, has nothing going for him, you know, that kind of person.”

“Ah,” the man across from him nods in understanding, feet curling behind him, “to be totally honest, I’m really bored.” He plops himself down on the floor, stretching out before he curls up like a cat. “I’ve been living this same shitty lifestyle for years ever since I quit acting, and it kinda gets lonely, you know? I’ve lost contact with pretty much all of my friends and family, and the second someone recognizes me, they pretty much want nothing to do with me. We’re practically one in the same, aren’t we?” He laughs bitterly, and for the first time since Kyungsoo has met the other man, he actually feels sympathy for the other man.

“I-” Kyungsoo begins, but is quickly cut off by the other man.

“Please, save me the pity. I don’t need it. But to finish answering your question, you’re just nice company, I don’t know. Especially when we’re not bickering.”

Kyungsoo isn’t convinced, but he pretends to buy it. “Alright.”

He’s saved from his social awkwardness by another ring of his doorbell. Luckily, it turns out to be Baekhyun. Kyungsoo doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy to see his friend in his life, and if he wasn’t Do Kyungsoo he’d probably hug him.

“Baekhyun.” he speaks, relieved. “What’re you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Baekhyun frowns, obviously eyeing Jongin, who has moved to the corner of the room quietly, staring at the pictures on the wall. “I haven’t heard from you in a week, and normally I wouldn’t be surprised but ever since you came back from the bar that one time you’ve been acting funny so-” he stops for breath, eyes darting between Kyungsoo and Jongin quickly, “here I am. Why is he still here? Doesn’t he live somewhere else? Or unless you two finally tied the knot.” He wiggles his eyebrows at his friend, and Kyungsoo immediately regrets opening the door for the man in the first place.

“Tie the knot? With _him_ ? Not happening,” Kyungsoo says quickly just as Jongin also blurts, “With _Kyungsoo_? No way.”

Baekhyun stares at the two of them oddly. “Right,” he says slowly, probably just as confused as Kyungsoo and Jongin.

“Anyways,” he continues, “Chanyeol and I are going to eat downtown and I wanted to know if you wanted to join us? Since, er, Mr. Kim is here with you, I guess he could join us too, if he wants?

“I have nothing better to do,” Jongin shrugs, “I guess I’ll come along.”

Kyungsoo can’t find it in his heart to disagree, and since Jongin somehow agreed to accompany them, he didn’t really have a choice in the matter anymore.

“I suppose I can,” he says finally, rubbing his nose in frustration.

Baekhyun beams at him. “Wonderful! We’ll see you there then!” And just as quickly as he came, he was gone, the only evidence of him being there is the growing flush on Kyungsoo’s face.

“Are you sick?” Jongin teases, “or is the idea of going out to eat with me making your heart flip?”

“Ah, would you look at the time!” Kyungsoo laughs nervously, ignoring Jongin’s comment as he stares at the clock, “It looks like you’ve overstayed your welcome. The door is to your left.”

“But aren’t we going to eat dinner-”

“Goodbye, Jongin!” Kyungsoo says cheerfully, pushing the man along until he ends up outside the doorway, closing the door quickly in his face. He hears a faint whine of ‘ _my mac and cheese_ ’ before he hears the footsteps die away down the hall. The smile quickly slips from Kyungsoo’s face.

“Idiot,” Kyungsoo mutters, but no amount of breathing could slow his rapidly beating heart.

* * *

 

The next evening Kyungsoo finds himself sitting in a chair at one of Seoul’s hot dining spots, a four star restaurant famous for their international food and and their kimchi fried rice.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol are dressed up in matching blue long button up shirts. Kyungsoo’s surprised the two of them haven't tied the knot themselves already; they seemed to do everything in sync with the other without even realizing it.

As for Kyungsoo, he just threw on a plain black shirt with dark jeans, hoping that his hair wasn't messed up in the process. He isn't one for keeping up with his appearance, anyway.

He glances at the menu, wrinkling his nose at the options he has before him. Filet mignon, stew, pasta; he’s definitely avoiding the pasta, he’s seen too much of it over the past couple of days.  The kimchi fried rice is probably a given, he hasn’t had the dish in a while, giving up on making it at home since he couldn’t quite make it the same way his mother used to when he was younger.

Across from him sits Jongin, legs crossed as he scans the menu. Kyungsoo notices the man glancing at him every couple of seconds, but decides not to comment on it; as much as he’d like to call Jongin out on it, he can hear his mother in the back of his head already scolding him for his rude table manners.

“I’m ready to order,” Baekhyun declares, and proceeds to order almost half the menu. Chanyeol nods enthusiastically, ordering almost all of the same food as his friend.  The waitress stares at the both of them skeptically, before she proceeds to take Jongin and Kyungsoo’s orders. The moment she walks off, Baekhyun turns to Jongin, eyes flashing,

“So, Jongin,” Baekhyun begins, folding his hands on the table and leaning forward, “Tell us about yourself.”

Kyungsoo sighs.

“What is this, a job interview?” Jongin snorts, running his hands through his hair as he stares at the man across from him. “What position am I applying for, exactly?”

“Kyungsoo’s boyfriend,” Chanyeol quips from next to Baekhyun, grinning precariously at Kyungsoo, who is currently doing everything in his power to not chuck salt into his eyes.

“I don’t do boyfriends,” Kyungsoo mutters, but Chanyeol continues as if he doesn’t hear him.

“You see, Jongin,” Baekhyun explains, taking over, “the problem is that Kyungsoo is very, ah, _unique_ . He hasn’t had a relationship in forever, and the times that he did, they never really last long. It makes me so _sad_ -” Baekhyun sighs dramatically, holding a hand over his heart, “to see him like this, I just want him to be happy.”

“Uh, that’s sad and all, but what exactly do you expect me to do about that?” For once, Kyungsoo isn’t the oblivious one; he hopes his friends will just leave the issue be and eat their food so they could just leave and move on with their lives.

But of course, things never go the way Kyungsoo wants them to.

“Fix it, of course,” Chanyeol says bluntly, and Kyungsoo almost reaches over to smack him across the face.

“ _Chanyeol!_ ” Kyungsoo hisses, “shut up!”

“What?” Chanyeol says incredulously, staring at his friend as if he’s grown a second head. “I mean it’s his fault anyway, isn’t it the reason why you-”

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun frowns, nudging his friend, “You can’t just tell someone something like that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with what I said, I was just trying to-”

“Food’s ready!” The waitress announces, and Kyungsoo’s never wanted to hug someone more in his life. Their awkward conversation suddenly dies down there, and Kyungsoo sneaks a peek at Jongin, who seems to be just staring at everyone, switching his gaze every couple of seconds. If Kyungsoo had to guess, Jongin’s mind is probably swarming with information, _too_ much information, to be honest.

As much as he cares for and loves his friends, sometimes he _really_ wants to just rip their heads off. He knows that they were probably just trying to be helpful, but the last thing Kyungsoo needs is for Jongin to pity him because of his sob story.

He takes a bite of his rice, chewing thoughtfully. He accidentally makes eye contact with Jongin, who quickly looks away, a bright red fluster creeping up his neck and slowly brushing across his face. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him, but chooses not to ask. He’s been feeling pretty lenient today.

“Wow, would you look at that,” Chanyeol comments, checking the time on his watch. “It looks like it’s time to go-” Baekhyun stares at him oddly, until Chanyeol nudges him violently, Baekhyun suddenly seeming to get the memo.

“Ah, right!” He smiles, albeit forcibly at Kyungsoo and Jongin. “We gotta go, enjoy your dinner!” And within the next couple of seconds, they had disappeared.

Kyungsoo and Jongin remain at the table, looking at everything but each other.

“So uh,” Jongin coughs, “the food is nice?”

“Yeah.”

The awkward silence continues for a couple minutes, and Kyungsoo wants to do nothing more than kill Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“Okay, Jongin, look,” he sighs, pushing his plate away as he feels the rest of his appetite leaving him. “I don’t even know why they decided to tell you that. My, er, problems have nothing to with you, so for that, I’m sorry.”

“I actually wasn't even bothered by that,” Jongin admits, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “I've heard stuff like that all the time.”

“Ah,” Kyungsoo responds, and decides not to say anymore, unless the other has anything else to say.

The rest of their dinner was an uneventful affair, the duo only exchanging words when necessary, or commenting on the food. Kyungsoo’s used to awkwardness but the tension in the air made him want to snap his own neck. He couldn’t really take back anything that Baekhyun and Chanyeol said because it was the truth, and he doubted the older man would forget it anytime soon.

Luckily Chanyeol and Baekhyun weren't complete assholes, leaving behind some money to cover their half of the tab and then some. Jongin pulls out his wallet, fumbling to pay for the rest but Kyungsoo holds a hand out.

“It's fine,” he insists, “I got it.”

Jongin concedes quietly, and after they clear their tables they head outside, being sure to tip the waitress for her help.

Kyungsoo just hopes he hasn’t totally embarrassed himself in front of Jongin. He doesn’t know how he’ll be able to handle seeing the man around their apartment complex.

When they’re finally seated in the car, Kyungsoo quickly turns the engine on and pulls out of the parking lot. In all honesty he just wants the day to end so he could wake up tomorrow morning and start all over again.

Before he can even control himself, he quickly blurts, “Wait. So if you don’t...act anymore, what job do you have?”

“I actually don’t even have a job at the moment,” Jongin laughs, rubbing his arm sheepishly. “I’ve just been living off of my earnings, and when that runs out, well, I’ll just deal with that when it happens.”

Kyungsoo frowns, turning onto the next street. “Don’t you want to get another job? Aren’t you bored staying inside all the time?”

“Well, sure,” Jongin mutters, tapping his nails on the window as he watches the car zoom by, “but I doubt I’d be able to find a job anywhere.”

“You never know until you try?” He offers, trying to be helpful, but he knows the man has a point. Even though it’s a little unfair, Kyungsoo doubts the other would be able to find a good professional job, especially around here, considering his work history.

“Haha. Funny.”

Jongin coughs, and Kyungsoo decides it’d probably be best to change the subject lest he wants to get stuck in awkward silence for the rest of the ride home. “Do you have any hobbies or anything that you like to do in your free time?”

“Not really,” Jongin shrugs. “I’ve always wished I had the ability to cook, but you and I both know how horribly that’d go.” Another good point. Kyungsoo knew by now that the man burned almost everything he touched, so becoming a cook or owning a bakery was almost out of the question.

“You shouldn’t be allowed within a mile of a stove,” Kyungsoo scoffs, and Jongin actually laughs out loud at that, eyes crinkling in amusement as he smiles. His laugh is throaty but light, and it’s a sound that Kyungsoo totally thinks he could get used to, in time.

The car pulls into the parking lot, and Kyungsoo navigates into his usual parking spot before he shifts the gear into park. They sit in silence for a little while, Kyungsoo ear’s tuning into the soft sound of Jongin’s breathing, and his eyes falling on the slight rise and fall of his chest.

To someone else, it probably wouldn't stick out but for Kyungsoo, he feels as if he could fall asleep to it. Despite having only known the man in person for a little over a week, he already feels so attuned to Jongin's presence, used to the man sitting or standing beside him, looking over his shoulder curiously.

He’s almost about to get out of the car until he hears Jongin speak.

“Kyungsoo,” he says quietly, “is what your friends said true?”

Kyungsoo freezes, retracting his hand from the door handle. He was hoping the man wouldn’t confront him about it, but, of course, things never go according to plan.

“What if it is?” He mumbles, suddenly self-conscious. He wills the flush threatening to creep up his neck away.

“Don’t answer my question with a question,” Jongin snaps, and Kyungsoo is shocked at the sudden twist to the other’s personality. Suddenly, he sees some of the man’s true colors shining through, a reminder of their first meeting in that bar.

“Jongin, I think you’re thinking a little too hard into this-”

“If you’re not going to admit that it’s true, then at least tell me why it’s true? I’ve been thinking about it ever since I met you and you told me you were a ‘fan’; how could you possibly be so infatuated with me? You’ve only ever seen me on screen, and it’s not as if I was acting in a movie; I was _fucking_ people. What is there to love?” He says harshly, and for a minute, Kyungsoo is left speechless.

“Am I just some walking fantasy to you?” He whispers, staring right at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo feels so caught off guard that he doesn’t even know how to _begin_ to collect his thoughts-

Unfortunately, it takes him a minute too long.

“Jongin-”

“Thanks,” he finally says, opening the car door as he turns his back to Kyungsoo. “That’s all I needed to know.”

“Goodnight, Kyungsoo.” And with that, he steps out of the car, walking away to the apartment building.

It’s at 28 years old that Kyungsoo learns that not only is he a lazy try-hard with nothing going for him, but that he’s also a complete _idiot_.

* * *

 

“I fucked up,” Kyungsoo groans, slamming his head on his desk.

Chanyeol sighs, staring at him sympathetically. “Yeah, you kinda did.”

It’s been at least three weeks since Kyungsoo last saw Jongin, the man basically disappearing off the face of the planet after the little conflict they had in Kyungsoo’s car after dinner. Considering they lived in the same apartment building, Kyungsoo finds it a little ridiculous that he hasn’t even seen the man once.

Unless, of course, he’s been going out of his way to avoid him, and Kyungsoo can’t exactly blame him for wanting to do so.

“But at the same time,” Chanyeol considers, twirling himself around in his rolling chair, “Don’t you think he kinda overreacted? If what you said was right, he didn’t even give you a chance to speak before flipping out and stalking off.”

“You’re making him sound like a drama queen,” Baekhyun inserts, rolling his eyes at Chanyeol, “I mean, to be totally honest I see his side of things too? This probably isn’t the first time something like this has happened, I imagine other people have tried to get with him only because they liked him as the _actor_ and not him as Kim Jongin, you feel?”

Kyungsoo hates to admit that Baekhyun is right, but sadly this is one of those rare times that he’s just going to have to suck it up.

“I guess you’re right,” he admits, rubbing his eyes as confusion and frustration get to him, mixing up in his head to produce a throbbing pain, “but how the hell am I supposed to prove to him that that’s not the case?”

“Sorry, bud,” Baekhyun says, shaking his head, “but you’re on your own for that one. It’ll be more meaningful in the long run if you can come up with something yourself.”

He pats his friend on the back. “To be totally honest,” Baekhyun admits, “I’ve never seen you so lively. I know we’re your best friends and all, but you’re not even that sassy with us. I know you’ll figure something out.”

“If not, at least you spent a week with the love of your life. What’s that quote, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?”

“You’re not helping, Chanyeol.”

* * *

 

After work, and after a reassuring pep talk from his friends ( _‘You can do it, Kyungsoo, otherwise you’re not allowed to visit us_ ’), he finds himself standing in front of Jongin’s apartment door. Kyungsoo’s not even completely sure that he lives here; he’s never been inside Jongin’s apartment, the other usually just deciding to pop up at Kyungsoo’s place whenever he felt like it.

Kyungsoo decides that it couldn’t hurt to try to talk to him at first. Whether Jongin would listen to him or not, that’s a whole other issue altogether.

He steels his nerves as he knocks on the door twice. _Your mother didn’t raise a whimp, come on Kyungsoo._

There’s no response.

Confused, Kyungsoo tries to look into the peephole. Considering Jongin doesn’t work, the man _should_ be at home; where else could he have gone?

He scans the little parts of the room that he can see, the warped glass of the peephole not offering him much to work with. But from what he can see, the room is barren. In fact, it looks as if Jongin hasn’t been inside the place in a while.

Curious, he takes an elevator all the way back down to the front desk, intent on asking if the main secretary had any idea to Jongin’s whereabouts.

She’s a measly old lady, with round glasses and curly graying hair,  the one that seems to be the type to whack you with her pocketbook for stepping out of line; Kyungsoo’s not sure if she’d be of much help.

“Good evening, ma’am,” Kyungsoo says, bowing respectfully. “I was wondering if you had info on one of the residents in this building, Kim Jongin?”

The lady squints at him, staring distastefully at him. She scans him from head to toe, and after a couple of seconds, glances back down at her records.

“Are you Do Kyungsoo?” She says plainly, ruffling through pages on her desks as she peeks back up at Kyungsoo, waiting for a response.

“Uh, yes?”

“Ah,” she says, carefully stacking her papers. “Well, Mr. Do, Mr. Kim moved. He doesn’t live here anymore.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I _said_ ,” she snaps, slowly getting irritated, “Mr. Kim moved. Moved out a couple days ago, claimed that he didn’t like the area. That’s all I have to tell you, now if you’ll excuse me…” She gets up, wobbling to the office behind her. She shuts the door behind her with a click, effectively ending the conversation.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Kyungsoo mutters, heart dropping into his stomach. He knows he’s never been a lucky man, but lately it seems as if a curse has been placed on him or something. He can’t remember the last time he was this unlucky.

He pulls his phone out, noticing a new notification from Baekhyun.

“ _How did it go? Did you find him_?” The screen reads, and the words somehow make Kyungsoo feel even more guilty.

“ _No_ ,” he texts back quickly, “ _the secretary lady said that he moved. Dead end.”_

Kyungsoo’s phone rings, and he doesn’t even have to check the caller ID screen to know who’s calling.

“ _Kyungsoo!_ ” Baekhyun calls over the line, and Kyungsoo can hear the confusion in his tone. “ _He’s gone?_ ”

“His room looks like he hasn’t been there in a while so probably,” Kyungsoo sighs. “Why do I always fuck up everything?”

“ _Kyungsoo-_ ” he hears Baekhyun begin to say, but quickly sensing the incoming waves of sympathy and support he shuts the phone off, not wanting to deal with any more emotional matters. He’s had enough for the rest of his life, he’s pretty sure.

He pockets his phone quickly, ignoring the quick series of buzzes; they're probably the product of Baekhyun’s surprise, but Kyungsoo’s too distracted to even care.

Kyungsoo honestly feels like the world’s biggest dumbass. He can’t even count the amount of times he’s slammed his head on his shower wall, cursing his past self and his incurable awkwardness for not being able to convince the man that he wasn’t just some nostalgic fan hung up on the past.

At this point, if Jongin wants to disappear and sever any ties he had with Kyungsoo, he supposes he has the right to. It’s his life; he has every right to live it the way he wants to.

Of course, Kyungsoo feels a little hurt that Jongin would just up and leave without even letting the other man know. But at the same time, Kyungsoo can’t imagine how Jongin must’ve felt in the car all those weeks ago.

He sighs. Life’s been getting too difficult for him lately

Ultimately, he decides to not do anything drastic. If Jongin wanted to come back and make amends, he would; if not, Kyungsoo would just try to do his best to forget about him, and hopefully life would move on.

So, he waits.

* * *

 

It’s late February. The weather is cool, flakes of snow still sticking to the ground after a slight blizzard a couple of days ago. Outside of his window, he can see small moving dots, the tops of people’s heads as they travel around, walking to and fro in the streets below.

Kyungsoo’s gaze leaves the window, instead focusing on the Pororo rerun playing on his TV screen. Even in his late twenties, the children’s cartoon remains one of his favorite things to watch; he could probably recite the whole thing from memory if he had to.

Ever since Jongin suddenly disappeared on him, Kyungsoo’s life slowly returned to normal. It was almost as if the other had never shouted at him in the bar in the first place. The only reminder he has that this wasn’t all a dream are the dark burn spots at the bottom of his favorite pan from when Jongin terribly burnt a batch of macaroni and cheese. The memory almost makes him laugh, but the more he thinks about it, the more his heart aches.

He was never one for romance, but maybe he would feel a little warmer if Jongin was still around.

He’s brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his door.

Odd. He’s not expecting anyone.

He opens the door to be met with Chanyeol, clothed with winter gear, his cheeks flushed from the cold.

“Kyungsoo,” he speaks, and there’s a hint of something in his tone that Kyungsoo can’t quite pick up on, “there’s this new bakery in town. I think you should come check it out with me.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “A bakery? Why didn’t you bring _Baek_ hyun with you?”

Baekhyun’s head pokes out from behind Chanyeol, the tall man’s figure completely shielding the rest of him from view.

“That was terrible, Kyungsoo,” he mock glares at his friend. “But no, seriously, put your jacket on and let’s go.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t see the harm in joining them, so he grabs his jacket out of the closet and slips it on as he follows his friends out the door.

Even though the weather isn’t spectacular for going outside, Kyungsoo isn’t surprised to see the streets as busy as ever, people frolicking and traveling in and out of stores. He scans his surroundings, and is surprised to see Baekhyun and Chanyeol turning onto a familiar street.

Kyungsoo widens his steps, quickening his pace in order to keep up with his friends as they walked briskly. “There’s no bakery on this street?”

“Well, there is now,” Baekhyun says plainly, pointing towards a small shop with a brown sign in the front.

 _Baked Delights_ , it reads.

Chanyeol pushes the door open, and a bell rings, signaling the trio’s entry. It’s a small cozy shop, hosting circular tables and chairs, and a cute small bookshelf rests on the wall across from the window. A chalkboard wall is to Kyungsoo’s right, where he can see everything the little bakery has to offer.

“Welcome!” A voice greets, and Kyungsoo turns to greet it, only to stop in complete confusion.

It’s _Jongin_.

“What the actual fuck?”

Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun and Chanyeol smiling out of the corner of his eye. _These fuckers probably knew_ , he seethes.

“Hi, Kyungsoo,” Jongin says, moving to stand in front of them. The man’s donning an apron, a large chef’s hat, and if Kyungsoo didn’t know any better, he’d think he just got off the set of a Food Network show.

“‘What kind of man wears an apron?’” Kyungsoo mimics, imitating the same tone of voice Jongin used with him when he made the same comment all that time ago.

Jongin looks down, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “I guess I look like the idiot now, don’t I?”

“Yes, you do,” Kyungsoo hisses, all his pent up anger and frustration finally seeing an escape route. “How the hell are you still here? Didn’t you _move_?”

“No,” Jongin simply says, moving behind the counter as he rummages in the fridge behind him, “I just told the lady at the front desk to tell you that in case you ever asked.”

“You could’ve at least said all this before disappearing off the face of the planet,” Kyungsoo complains. “And how do you even have a bakery? I thought you couldn’t cook for shit.”

“I can. You can think about that later,” Jongin responds, handing Kyungsoo a red velvet cupcake, topped with red frosting and white flakes.

“Here. You should probably leave now,” he continues, staring at Baekhyun and Chanyeol who have moved back to the entrance of the store, watching the clock anxiously.

“But-” Kyungsoo begins, feeling as if he was losing his chance all over again, “I have so much to say, can't we at least talk first so I can apologize-”

“Oh for God’s sake, just eat the cupcake,” Jongin says sternly, “You can tell me what you want to tell me later.”

Kyungsoo knows his cue to leave when he hears it. Stealing one more glance at the shop around him, he steps out with Baekhyun and Chanyeol, clutching the cupcake in his hands tightly.

The second they’re out of range of the shop, Kyungsoo spins and glares at his ‘friends’.

“You knew,” he accuses, “this whole time.”

“Actually, no we didn’t,” Chanyeol defends himself and Baekhyun, shrinking under Kyungsoo’s glare, but he finds himself chuckling at Kyungsoo’s puffed cheeks, “we discovered the bakery like 2 weeks ago? We were going to tell you sooner or later, but I guess today was the perfect day for it.”

“Some friends you are,” Kyungsoo mumbles around his mouthful of cupcake. He’s surprised at how good it tastes, almost impressed with Jongin’s baking.  He’d never admit to the man himself, of course.

For some reason, he can’t find it in himself to be mad anymore. The more he reflects on everything, he realizes that his anger can’t be directed at anyone but himself really. In all honesty. he’s sure the pieces to this puzzle will begin to fall into place sooner or later; Kyungsoo’s just glad that the pieces even exist in the first place.

He’s mindlessly following along with Baekhyun, nodding every couple of seconds to make it seem as if he’s listening when his mouth bites down on something stiff. He winces, pulling his mouth off of the remaining cupcake piece when he notices it.

A small square card sticks out of the cupcake wrapper. Kyungsoo picks it out of the remaining crumbs, wiping it on the fabric of his jeans as he squints at it, trying to pick out the inked scrawl across the pink surface.

When his eyes finally start to agree with him, the font clears up in front of him.

_6854919_

Kyungsoo feels his heart rate speed up, warmth spreading through him.

 _The first piece_.

 


End file.
